IVF: Round 1

As of our final conversation with our fertility clinic a year ago, I needed to lose 50ish pounds to be at a BMI acceptable for them to put me to sleep for an egg retrieval. I finally reached that BMI goal January and we started preparing for the next steps. I requested an updated quote because a lot could change in a year and inflation was no exception. 

Our new quote was for 15k and the biggest step would be coming up with a very large part of that money. We needed over 6k to even begin the process. We had received some donations to our IVF fund and we had saved a bit but we still needed thousands more. We started applying for IVF loans and were denied multiple times. We kept pushing forward and checking our options. We received an approval for a very high interest personal loan that we imagined was our last resort so we had to figure out how to make those payments. On a whim, I reapplied to the first loan option, Future Family, and we were approved. We like this option because they specialized in fertility loans and they worked with our clinic and our specialty pharmacy so they paid them directly and we didn't have to manage that part. 

By April, all monies had been paid, we had completed our fresh transfer class, medications were delivered and we were on our way to Raleigh for my saline ultrasound. I had had an HSG  the previous year but with my insurance it had to be within the last 12 months and we missed that mark by a couple weeks. On our way to the ultrasound, I got a phone call informing me that my insurance had denied my prior authorization and we would need to come up with $5000 extra to be private pay. We were already on our way to Raleigh we had no choice but to agree and figure out a way to come up with the money later. The saline ultrasound showed that I had a cyst on my left ovary but everything else was good. I was told to double up on my birth control in hopes that it would clear up so we could begin in 2 weeks. 

On the way home, I was reaching out to our loan company to see if we could get approved for the extra money and thankfully we were approved within a few hours. We were stressed that it was going to cost more money but we were so grateful that we at least had the financing to keep going. For the next two weeks, awaiting our baseline ultrasound I went deep diving into my insurance and reviewed the clinical policy guidelines to prove I qualified for IVF treatment. I got all of my medical records documenting my 3 years of infertility and many failed rounds with Clomid plus my labs from last year and this year that showed my AMH had divided in half with absolutely no explanation. I took all of this information and submitted an appeal to my insurance company. Appeals take awhile to review so I was relying on the nurse reviewing my case to give me my fair chance but I had a couple weeks to wait. 

Our baseline ultrasound gave us the all clear. My cyst was gone. We could stop birth control and that Friday we were all clear to begin stims. Stims just put your ovaries in overdrive so you have multiple follicles releasing eggs. Due to my low AMH, we had to double up on our meds which was another reason why our IVF bill was so high. I knew going into this that while IVF can be covered, fertility meds are not remotely. That estimate went from $4,000 to $7,000 really fast. Stim meds are super expensive. We followed our instructions and at my first monitoring ultrasound we had a 6 follicles on my right side and 3 on my left. Not great numbers but it was just the first ultrasound so we couldn't worry. My numbers remained close to that for our follow-ups but we kept being reminded, it only takes one. What should've been my last monitoring ultrasound showed that we had a few that were larger than 17mm, the minimum, but the Dr wanted us to go a little bit longer. So we did one more day of stim meds and I had another ultrasound the next day. 

We finally got the go ahead that Tuesday that we were good to go for our trigger shot. A trigger basic sets ovulation in motion so that we could have our egg retrieval done that Thursday morning. Taking the trigger shot also meant I got a little bit of a rest for my bruised stomach. I have tattoos and piercings but there's so much to say for people who have to take shots every day, it isn't for the faint of heart. Given our retrieval time and date, we made some quick notifications at work and a swap of days and we were beyond ready for our appointment. I'm still so very grateful with how understanding our coworkers were with helping us make this happen so seamlessly. I was also grateful that we got response from my insurance company that my appeal was reviewed and prior auth for the procedure was given. We had still already paid over 20 grand and we would have to wait for insurance claim payments to process but there was hope we might get some assistance from my insurance provider.

We showed up Thursday morning extra early for our appointment because timing is everything in this process. I knew this was necessary for our family but I still had never had an IV and never been put to sleep. Finally, Dane and I were called back to our respective rooms. I met my anesthesiologist and he was very kind and understanding to my nerves. Explained everything before and while he was handling his job. All the leads were placed and he lets me know he'll be there monitoring. Dr. Bowling walks in and the lab verifies my info and everything else is a dream. Propofol works super fast y'all. That was a restful little nap. The procedure itself takes maybe 15 minutes. After I woke up, they moved me out of the procedure room and brought Dane to me and we waited for the Dr.

Dr Bowling comes out and lets us know we got 6 mature eggs. Going into that day we had 9 mature follicles so getting 6 mature eggs was amazing based on the statistics. I was so grateful. The next day we got the phone call that we had 4 fertilized eggs. Again, statistically the numbers were right on the mark. We wouldn't hear from the lab again until our fresh transfer on Tuesday. Typically, if there are no issues a fresh transfer is done after an egg retrieval. We had discussed with our Dr., Dr. Meyer  ahead of time that based on my age of 34, we didn't really need to consider genetic testing, so we didn't and I had no indications of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS.) We had the all clear to transfer.

Tuesday morning, we were on our way to the biggest moment of our lives so far. Our chance to complete our family. A transfer is done via catheter insertion to the uterus and per instructions, I showed up with my bladder full. Bless it my bladder hated me, but a full bladder helps with the visualizing the embryo insertion on the ultrasound. The embryologist informed us that as of that morning we only had one embryo but we had 2 that they were giving a little extra time to see if they made it. More reminders, that it only takes one. The embryo we were transferring was a 4AB grade, which is pretty good all things considered. We got to see an image of our little embryo, I even printed it out and put it on the fridge a' la This Is Us. A few minutes later, "Maybe Baby Watson" was on board and we went back to change and I experienced the single greatest moment with my husband. He wrapped his arms around me and held me so tight. All the love, the happiness, the excitement, the hope for our family; It was palpable and I will forever cherish that moment.

Next up was the infamous, "Two Week Wait," and it was torturous. Okay, maybe not torture, but it was a lot. It was only 10 days. When you've had a 5 day blastocyst transferred, a few of those 14 days have also passed you by so you get a little reprieve. We still had to wait and not be overwhelmed and convince myself not to use one of the 99 pregnancy tests I had at the house until our next appointment. We had found out the day after our transfer that we had one more embryo to make it and that one was frozen. "Maybe Baby #2," was a 4BB grade so also not a horrible grade considering. Knowing we had another embryo helped me too. It meant we might actually get a chance at growing our family even more and that gave me happiness. By Thursday, we had dreamt so much, but it's hard to dream when you're still technically Schrodinger's Cat at least in my brain. We did our labs and then stayed in Raleigh. We planned our day to enjoy some distractions until we got "The Call." We were told it could be hours until we heard anything so distractions sounded like the best bet. 

Unfortunately, at 11:28 on June 2nd, our dreams came crashing down. I received a phone call from the Dr. not a nurse and he let us know that our transfer did not end in a pregnancy. There was no rhyme or reason. Nothing in the labs or anything gave an answer, the only possibility is that the embryo wasn't chromosomally sound and so it wouldn't implant. We were crushed. We cried a lot. There was also a little retail therapy because honestly we were in a daze and we weren't okay and the future was scary and hard and we just needed a little escape. All the what do we do next, and how will we afford, and what if's were just a lot to take on when what you were so sure of was no longer. It was a hard day, but we tried to focus on what we did have. We have each other and and we still have one embryo and we will find a way to have a family.