IVF: Round 2

After we found out that our first embryo didn't take, we decided to immediately start the process for our second and last embryo. We had our follow-up from our failed cycle on June 22. From there we scheduled our Frozen Embryo Transfer class (FET) and obviously we choose the first available which was June 29. The nurse was super encouraging and informative and gave us all the appointments for our transfer right then and there... or you know best case scenario because if I've learned anything about this process as calculated as it is, it is ever changing. She said we can get your baseline ultrasound on Monday, July 3rd--aka the day before my birthday, second ultrasound on July 11th, third ultrasound on July 18th and transfer on July 25th. It sounded great and everything was falling into place.

I already had the next 6 days off because birthday weekends call for such. However, that whole national holiday in the summertime says otherwise. On Friday I got a call from Greenville OBGYN, the office we use for local monitoring, was working with a limited staff and super booked for Monday so they recommended I call our clinic ASAP to see if they could get me in. Thankfully, they could see me at 10:30 am so a quick rearrangement of our plans and we were headed to Raleigh for the baseline ultrasound. We even planned a day of it and got tickets to see the new Indiana Jones move at The Alamo. The theater wasn't for us but it was an experience we could mark off the list. In other news, it seemed as thought we were back on track. We got the go ahead to stop birth control on the 4th and I started Estrace 3 times daily on the 5th. My next ultrasound wasn't what I wanted to hear. Per the nurse, we were hoping for my endometrial lining to be at about 6 mm. Unfortunately, it hit just below at 5.8 mm. The next day, I got another call from the nurse and was informed they were adding another dose of Estrace at night. I was flustered but I was going to do whatever I could to make this cycle as successful as possible. The next Tuesday rolls around and the expectation was for my lining to be at 7 mm. Once again, my body disappointed me. I was only measuring 6.8 which sounds like why not just round up but when we're speaking in millimeters it's just not that easy. I was so hopeful that because I was so close to expectations that it wouldn't be an issue. We got the news that I would need another ultrasound on Friday before we could start progesterone and that also meant we would have to change our transfer date from 7/25 to 7/28 based on the results.

If anyone is planning a pregnancy with time constraints, I highly discourage summertime. I say this because as of Wednesday of that week there were no more available ultrasounds available for our monitoring clinic, there was a late appointment available in Raleigh but I couldn't miss an entire day of work to make it to a midday ultrasound in Raleigh. Back to the drawing board we went. Per the nurse, the latest possible option for my transfer was 8/1 so I had to have an ultrasound by 7/25 and start progesterone shots by 7/26. Luckily, I was able to get a late Tuesday afternoon appointment. I'm so glad I took the rest of the day off because I ended up waiting an hour and a half for that ultrasound. Once I was finally seen, I spoke to the ultrasound tech about where I needed to be and she said unfortunately, we aren't there yet. I hadn't even gotten to the lab and I got a call from our clinic that they wouldn't have the results that day so they would call me the next. I let her know that the tech told me I wasn't quite at 7 so what would the options be. She said that the Dr would look over everything but they may have to put me on a different type of estrogen. Again I felt defeated, but I was so hopeful that this was all going to work out, some how some way.

The next day I awaited the call. I wasn't stressing it because they usually call between 3-4 pm. This day however, I got an email at 11 am, which was unusual but it turns out it was a release of my new calendar giving us the go ahead to start my progesterone shots that night. I was so excited because it meant we were actually given the all clear to transfer on 8/1. We made it within the time frame we were given. That excitement didn't stop me from feeling the pain I had forgotten accompanied those shots. A friend said that's why people have more than one kid, they forget the pain... I get it. It has not been a fun time getting myself pumped up for these shots every night, but I do have the most amazing Fertility Med Administrator and I call him my husband. I'm have to say I'm a lucky a girl.

Here it is, July 31st, and I have knots in my stomach. I'm excited. I'm hopeful. I speak nothing but positivity over my womb and over our embryo. I acknowledge our baby as an absolute truth. Our first transfer was the most emotionally connected and amazing moment with my husband I've ever experienced. It was full of so much hope and joy. And it came crashing down in a flood of tears and a negative blood test 10 days later. I'm nervous. I'm scared. The logic in my brain knows statistics and is preparing me to not break if I'm world comes crashing down. My brain is Schrodinger's cat and it is exhausting and honestly I've had enough trauma over the years, I didn't need more anxiety.

Still, we know it's not in our control. What's going to happen is going to happen no matter what. In any case, we ask that you say a prayer for us and our favorite little science experiment tomorrow. No matter what, we know in our hearts we will fulfill our dream and grow our family even if the road looks a little different than most.

 

p.s. In case anyone was wondering, IVF is expensive AF. There is a lot of cute "merch" for the occasion but if you're paying $20,000 for a cycle or 2, finding $20 for a shirt isn't high on the list of priorities... So I made my own, and I love it!